Build Bridges, Not Walls: Communication That Connects

Communication. It’s a vital piece of our everyday interactions. 

You know [name], every once in a while, we rock it and what we intended to say was expressed with precision; it was heard and received with ease - or we listened actively, responded and reflected with an understanding of the message.

On the average day though, we “hear” something that wasn’t said or something we say doesn’t come out the way we intended. Either way, it’s likely we and the person we’re talking to is frustrated, confused, anxious or all the above.

We know solid communication matters. 

We understand the benefits of effectively communicating with those around us. But, regardless of our intentions and attempts, sometimes we just miss the mark - this is to be expected.

A key part of the equation is our attempt to make a genuine effort - to listen and speak intentionally.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll explore how to create stronger, more life-giving connections in some of the most important relationships in our lives. 

Whether you’re talking with a child, co-worker, sibling, or spouse/partner, communication is more than just exchanging words - it’s about building trust, understanding, and compassion.

We’ll look at practical tools, real-life examples, and a fresh perspective using the Enneagram Communication Stances—Assertive, Dutiful, and Withdrawn—to help you speak more clearly and listen more deeply.

We’re going to start the series  with where it all begins…parent-child communication.

Parent-child communication shapes how we see the world and ourselves. Whether you’re guiding a toddler, navigating the teenage years, or supporting an adult child, the foundation is the same: connection. 

The most powerful thing we can offer our children (at any age) is our attention. 

When we listen to understand, instead of trying to fix or correct - we create space for growth, trust, and mutual respect.

This is where understanding the three Enneagram Communication Stances can come in handy. 

Some children (and parents 😉) express themselves assertively, while others are more reserved or focused on expectations. Knowing the difference helps us adjust how we engage and listen.

And in life we move in and out of different roles, in one situation we are the child and in another, we might be the parent.

As a child moves into adulthood, parent-child relationships shift over time, so our communication needs to adapt too. 

As adults - parent or child, It can be challenging to express our needs, set boundaries, or even just reconnect after years of moving in the same patterns. But with grace, curiosity, and tools like the Enneagram, we can begin to hear each other in new ways and speak with more clarity and compassion.

Maybe you’re in the parenting season of calming a toddler’s meltdown or navigating a teenager’s silence - communication with our children is always evolving. 

Younger kids need simple words and steady presence, while teens often need space and emotional safety to open up. 

Understanding how they (and us too!) naturally respond based on the Enneagram Communication Stances we operate in, can help us connect with more patience, empathy, and purpose at every age.

TRY THIS… one intentional listening moment a fews days this week. Whether you are the parent or the adult child, take note of what surprised or touched you the most in what you heard.

It can be as simple as…asking your child, “What was the best part of your day?” or ask your parent, “What’s something you’ve been thinking about lately?” - and really listen.

If there is silence, let the silence stretch - it’s often in this awkward pause where the deepest sharing begins.

And if you’re ready to explore deeper tools for generational connection…let’s connect with a Discovery Call to explore your Enneagram Communication Stance and ways coaching can help you gain effective communication in the relationships of your life.

Listening with you,

Katie and Kristan