We’re back this week to take a look at the Core Longing of each Enneagram Type.
"Sometimes, the hardest thing to believe is that we are already worthy of love, grace, and belonging.” – Brené Brown
The Core Longing is the deep, affirming message their heart longs to hear. Often, this message has felt unavailable or untrue, which is why each type develops patterns to cope.
“Don’t let the lies in your mind be louder than the truth in your heart.” – Anonymous
To help make sense of what the Core Longing message might sound like, here’s the Core Longing of each type and an example of how they might distort their behavior/actions to hear this message:
Type 1 – The Reformer
Core Longing: “You are good just as you are.”
Example: A Type 1 may constantly push themselves to be perfect, fearing that any mistake makes them unworthy. When someone affirms, “You don’t have to prove yourself—you are already enough,” it brings deep relief.
Type 2 – The Helper
Core Longing: “You are wanted and loved for who you are, not just what you do.”
Example: A Type 2 might always be looking for ways to help, hoping their kindness will make them indispensable. Hearing “I love you just for being you, not because of what you do for me,” allows them to rest in secure love.
Type 3 – The Achiever
Core Longing: “You are loved for who you are, not just for what you achieve.”
Example: A Type 3 may feel like they must keep succeeding to be valued. When someone says, “Even if you didn’t accomplish anything today, you are still worthy of love,” it challenges their belief that they must earn their worth.
Type 4 – The Individualist
Core Longing: “You are seen and loved for exactly who you are.”
Example: A Type 4 often feels different or misunderstood. When a friend deeply listens and says, “I see the real you, and I love you just as you are,” it soothes their fear of being unseen or unappreciated.
Type 5 – The Investigator
Core Longing: “Your needs are not a problem.”
Example: A Type 5 may withdraw, fearing they’ll be too much or too needy. When someone reassures them, “You don’t have to do everything alone—I want to support you,” it helps them feel safe opening up.
Type 6 – The Loyalist
Core Longing: “You are safe and secure.”
Example: A Type 6 constantly scans for potential dangers or anxieties. When a trusted person says, “I’m here for you, no matter what,” it provides the security they long for.
Type 7 – The Enthusiast
Core Longing: “You will be taken care of.”
Example: A Type 7 may keep busy to avoid pain or discomfort. When someone reassures them, “You don’t have to keep running—I’ll be here through the hard moments too,” it gives them permission to slow down and be present.
Type 8 – The Challenger
Core Longing: “You will not be betrayed.”
Example: A Type 8 might put up walls, fearing vulnerability. When someone proves through consistency and loyalty, “I won’t betray or abandon you,” it helps them soften and trust.
Type 9 – The Peacemaker
Core Longing: “Your presence matters.”
Example: A Type 9 may stay quiet to keep the peace, fearing they are unimportant. When someone directly affirms, “Your thoughts and feelings matter to me,” it encourages them to show up fully.
As you read each type, there might be a few of these messages that feel true to you, that is because we have all nine types in us, but we only have one core type. Continue to read the descriptions and sift through the ones that resonate with you - highlight a few that really ring true to what your heart longs to hear and consider those messages this week when other messages/narratives filter in that attempt to say otherwise.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 NIV
Recognizing our Core Longing and the push behind our behavior can help us:
✅ Stop striving to earn what we already have access to
✅ Recognize when we’re acting out of fear instead of truth
✅ Accept the love and affirmation we truly need
“Our hearts whisper lies of unworthiness, but the truth is, we are already enough in God’s eyes.” – Anonymous
Get curious…What message do you search for? Take a moment to reflect and discover the message that could be a pivotal point for you.
Life does have a way of rerouting us, putting up barricades, and sending us through seasons of dead ends and road closures, but God placed a longing in our heart – He fills it, but we have to choose to believe it.
So what if?
Just what if the message your heart longs to hear has been true all along?
Are you ready to reveal the true desire of your heart?
Are you ready to receive it?
If you’re curious what it would look like for us to walk alongside you as you begin to recognize patterns and understand your core motivations, connect with us to schedule a discovery call - we’ll chat about the next steps.
Encouraging the receiving of truth for you,
Katie and Kristan
⇒ Trying to determine which Enneagram Type you are? Join us for the second Monday of each month at 7pm MST for our “Uncharted Conversations” live meet-up and ask us in person or check out our “Find Your Type” page for some options.